I realised the other day that I'm turning 20 this year! (TWENTY!) I hyperventilate at the thought of no longer being a teenager - There go my chances of ever being a child prodigy *cries*. I still go into a little panic mode whenever I remember that it's unacceptable to act irrational anymore for the sake of being a teenager. Not that I do, but people won't look at me anymore and think, "ah she's just a teenager still", no, they'll say I'm an adult and should act that way. "But I don't wanna grow up" I'll cry, and they'll laugh because they would've been through the same thing and tell me I'm only 20. Only 20 they'll say, "You're only TWENTY!" Yeah right, like 20 is only 20. 20 years old today, 50 years old tomorrow *criessomemore*
You know, people meet their spouses at 20, they get married 3 years later and have kids a couple of years then. But what if I don't do all that. What if I end being the lady down the street with 20 cats and with too much time and too much paint on my hands. My friend concluded that I'm having a quater life crisis - very similar to a midlife crises but obviously at a different age, a much younger age. Watching this video affirms that yes life can race ahead of you sometimes and everyone tells you you're only young once, but you don't start believing it until you really have to leave the party. Yesterday your first tooth was falling out but today all your teeth are falling out! Yesterday you were jumping over puddles, today you're just walking around them. I do want to be the lady down the street with too much time and paint on her hands, and I want to be jumping over puddles, even when they tell me it's bad for my back and if I break it, Lord help me!
I don't know if any other people my age experience this (or are experiencing this). But I suppose you spend your whole life building momentum to when you're no longer a teenager that when you finally get there, you think 'is this it?' Honestly every 'milestone age' has been so rubbish for me so far, I'm not kidding! I remember turning 16 and feeling like YES! this is it. I did things I wasn't supposed to do in hopes that it would give me some gratification, but it was the worst birthday I had. Fancy waking up with your friends foot in your mouth on the morning after your 16th. I don't remember much of what happened, but I am certain I didn't enjoy it (eurgh). My 12th was even worse, not that 12 is a particularly awesome age or anything, but again I was building an expectation as to how I was going to be at age 12. In the end I got a granny jumper and a card I had to sign...From me TO ME! At this point it's safe to say that my 18th isn't really worth mentioning, because you don't want to know. Despite all this, I think I want to do something for this year. I promise I'm going to do something worthwhile, I think I owe it to myself to have a memorable birthday (and for the right reasons). But I guess I'll let you know when I get there.